I need something. I need something that gives me hope and that helps me to feel, even if it is fleeting, like I am doing something worthy, like I am doing something substantial. Even if it is only substantial within my own tiny existence. I created this blog because I want to be good…because I want to be better, because I want to contribute to making the world a better place and as a framework for my own learning experience.

I want to support my local community, to eat fresh food that has not traveled 10,000 miles to get to my plate, food that does not have crap in it and food that makes me feel good. I want to recycle and compost, I do not want to use the microwave or drink too much and I want to exercise. God help me at this particular moment I am failing at many of these ideals. I am not yet composting and I am living somewhere that makes it ridiculously tough to recycle (tho I do it anyway). I am compulsively eating sugar, yes even the stuff that has hydrogenated oils and crap in it that you cannot pronounce, I am drinking more than I need to and I am shopping at stores that I try at all costs to avoid. I will not be derailed however…I have come too far in my quest to uncover the better human being that I know is under there. I have worked too hard to educate myself on ways to create change and to make this world a better place…but oh dear me I am not perfect…this I am sure comes as a shock, especially to the ones who know me well…I too am human, but don’t tell anyone.

Photo courtesy of Corinna Robbins~ birdwannawhistle

What is this blog about? Well that is a good question. I would be lying if I said that I really knew. Well, maybe I do know. At this very moment, and truthfully “this moment” is all that we have, this blog is about my quest to effect change, to educate myself and to eat some really f*#ing good food. I do not have all the answers. What I do know is that I am tired of being afraid of food. I went from spending much of my life being terrified that it would make me fat (and p.s. I have never been fat so this fear is rational?) to now agonizing over where to buy food and what to get so as to minimize the effects on the world blah blah blah. Quite bizarre conundrums for someone who has devoted much of their life to cooking and let’s face it, eating in general. So much so that my head is spinning and for a while there I almost stopped eating much at all, till my loved ones had a bit of an intervention…and now look at me, eating seemingly anything I can get my hands on (I am trying however to make most of it from Whole Foods and farmers markets but I cannot be held responsible for eating inappropriate amounts of ice cream and baked goods that were purchased by someone else entirely).

What I can say is that this is a process and just like life, this process will ebb and flow. My quest will not be flawless but the mistakes that I make along the way will and have made me a better, more real and a wiser person. This blog is a path that will take the reader and the writer through many experiences, some new and some familiar. Will we be good?…who knows, not really sure what that means… one thing is for sure, we will learn together how to be better and that’s a good place to start.